Finding Self-Control and Starting Over

We learn from our mistakes in the areas that matter least; like games, texting, computers. We repeat mistakes in areas that matter most; finances, relationships, kids, school.

Why add more pain to an already painful existence? In this life there will always be pain. Do not procrastinate to avoid pain. You can either choose a little pain now, or a LOT more pain later. 

There are THREE MYTHS in regards to having self-control and making better decisions in life:

THE EXPERIENCE MYTH — “Experience makes you wiser.” 

THE KNOW BETTER MYTH — “Since I know better, I’ll do better.”

THE TIME IS AGAINST ME MYTH — “Compared to THAT person, I’m way behind!”

The Experience Myth Experience only makes us older, tired, poorer, lonelier, etc. It does NOT make you wiser. Only EVALUATED EXPERIENCE makes you wiser. If you can sit down at the end of each day and evaluate what you did and how well it worked for your goals, you’ll be SOOO much wiser than you were before that day began.

The Know Better Myth I saw Suzie do that thing and it turned out bad for her, so I KNOW that I won’t make the same mistake. WRONG. Knowing better does not equal doing better.

The Time is Against Me Myth — Stop comparing yourself to others when making decisions about your life. TIME IS YOUR FRIEND. The clock is NOT ticking. You need to have time to gain emotional balance before trying something again. When you are in pain physically or emotionally, you become very self-absorbed.


When you are (emotionally) healthy you have clarity that will help you make good decisions.


Romans 8:28 — And we know in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, and have been called according to His purpose.

In every instance in the bible there were YEARS between the 1st and 2nd rounds of experiences. They gained a divine sense of destiny and an abiding sense of humility. “I wouldn’t trade anything for what I learned in the first round.”


If you allow God to use ALL experiences in your life, the experiences will resurface in a POSITIVE way.



advice from old people

Advice from Old People

Evaluated Experience from old people:

1. The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.

2. You might live a long life, or you might live a short one — who knows. But either way, trust me when I say that you’re going to wish you took better care of yourself in your youth.

3. Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects, hold onto time and experiences instead.

4. Jealousy destroys relationships. Trust your significant other, because who else are you supposed to trust?

5. People always say, “Make sure you get a job doing what you love!” But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.

6. If you’re getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savour all that is beautiful and comforting. Take a deep breath, relax.

7. Years go by in the blink of an eye. Don’t marry young. Live your life. Go places. Do things. If you have the means or not. Pack a bag and go wherever you can afford to go. While you have no dependents, don’t buy stuff. Any stuff. See the world. Look through travel magazines and pick a spot. GO!

8. Don’t take life so seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.

9. A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am. Everyone else is just an acquaintance.

10. Children grow up way too fast. Make the most of the time you have with them.

11. Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more. Work hard, but don’t prioritize work over family, friends, or even yourself.

12. Eat and exercise like you’re a diabetic heart patient with a stroke — so you never actually become one.

13. Maybe this one isn’t as profound as the others, but I think it’s important… Floss regularly, dental problems are awful.

14. Don’t take anyone else’s advice as gospel. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice…

15. The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they’ve recovered completely. TRUST ME!

16. We have one time on this earth. Don’t wake up and realize that you are 60 years old and haven’t done the things you dreamed about.

17. Appreciate the small things and to be present in the moment. What do I mean? Well, it seems today like younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not appreciate every small moment? We don’t get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.

18. Pay your bills and stay the heck out of debt. If I could have paid myself all the money I’ve paid out in interest over the years, I’d be retired already.

19. If you have a dream of being or doing something that seems impossible, try for it anyway. It will only become more impossible as you age and become responsible for other people.

20. When you meet someone for the first time, stop and realize that you really know nothing about them. You see race, gender, age, clothes. Forget it all. You know nothing. Those biased assumptions that pop into your head because of the way your brain likes categories, are limiting your life, and other people’s lives.